Q & A: The Thought Is So Hot, The Reality So Not!


Q: Why is it that the considered intercourse with one other man is extremely arousing, however after I go to interact within the act I really feel no arousal? I determine as a straight man and I like having intercourse with my girlfriend, however this simply generally bothers me.

A: Sexual sights and fantasies are complicated and don’t all the time match up with how we view ourselves.

It’s frequent to have fantasies that one by no means truly needs to behave on in waking life. Many individuals have fantasies about sexual acts or genders or individuals or sorts of those who they merely aren’t into in actual life. If this fantasy is a secret you might be maintaining out of your girlfriend, it’s attainable the secrecy is a serious reason for your arousal.

You could wish to discover what arouses you concerning the thought of intercourse with one other man and decide whether it is attainable to duplicate this your companion. For instance, some individuals want to be a giver not a receiver of anal intercourse or vice versa. If you fantasize about receiving anal penetration, maybe your girlfriend could be into penetrating you with a dildo or a strap-on (do not forget that utilizing numerous water- or silicone-based lubricant can improve consolation and pleasure).

It’s Up To You

When it involves the concept of sights to different males, solely you’ll be able to really reply that query.  There are many potentialities, certainly one of which can be internalized homophobia.  Internalized homophobia, which is unfavorable stereotypes, beliefs, stigma, and prejudice about LGBTQ+ people that one turns inward on themselves, can act as a psychological barrier to having fun with acts related to these unfavorable ideas or emotions (Meyer, 2013).

You might additionally simply not be prepared, or possibly you solely benefit from the fantasy of it.  The vital factor to recollect is that these are all frequent features of human sexuality, and to supply your self with room to develop.  You may also try the web site www.StraightGuise.com by AASECT licensed intercourse therapist Joe Kort.


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