Q & A: Is The Problem His Size, Or My Dryness?


Q: My accomplice and I lately started having sexual activity, and neither one among us are virgins. We are having issues although, as he has loads of “girth” or circumference to his penis, and I’ve solely been with one different person and so I’m not the best measurement for him. Another downside with that is that I’m on a low-estrogen contraception and so I’ve difficulties with vaginal lubrication, however he doesn’t like to make use of lube. Is there something I can do to make it simpler for us, and simpler for me to get lubricated vaginally?

A: Love, attraction and sexuality are complicated. It could be difficult sufficient to discover a accomplice who’s engaging, good, fascinating, thrilling, and appropriate in methods which might be essential to you. To discover somebody who has all of those qualities, and whose physique matches simply with one’s personal, could be a good larger problem. Fortunately, human beings are adaptive. We search for methods to make our lives (and typically our our bodies) match comfortably collectively.

Because estrogen is related to vaginal lubrication, some girls do discover a change of their vaginal lubrication whereas on sure types of hormonal contraception. One study discovered that ladies on hormonal contraception reported better problem with lubrication as compared with girls utilizing non-hormonal contraception.

Also, some girls discover that vaginal lubrication fluctuates all through their menstrual cycle and no matter whether or not or not they’re utilizing a hormonal methodology of contraception (just like the tablet). If you wish to attempt one other sort of tablet, or one other type of contraception, to see if it makes a distinction to your vaginal lubrication, ask your healthcare supplier for details about your choices.

Take Time For Arousal

Many girls discover that they’ll improve their pure vaginal lubrication by spending extra time doing the sorts of issues that they discover sexually arousing previous to making an attempt vaginal penetration. For many {couples}, this implies spending extra time in foreplay — kissing, touching over and/or beneath the garments, breast stimulation, again massages, or time spent doing issues to your accomplice’s physique that you just discover thrilling or arousing. It can also be price exploring your emotions about this accomplice, as you didn’t point out how you are feeling about him (do you want him? Love him? Are you romantically or sexually drawn to him?).

It could also be price sitting down and speaking together with your accomplice — throughout a time when you find yourself not about to have intercourse — and sharing with one another what you every discover thrilling, arousing and most enjoyable as a part of your sexual play.

When a lady turns into sexually aroused, vaginal lubrication tends to extend and a course of known as vaginal tenting might happen (whereby the uterus is drawn upward, serving to the vaginal canal develop in size and/or width — permitting extra room to your accomplice’s penis).

The reality that you’ve got restricted sexual activity expertise is to not “blame” when it comes to intercourse being uncomfortable for you two. Vaginas are literally fairly related in measurement from one lady to the following. Vaginas are additionally muscular and have a tendency to return to their unique measurement after intercourse, so it’s not the case that your physique will stretch out over time.

Talk About Variety – And Lube

If your accomplice has a thick penis, it could be uncomfortable for many individuals to just accept into their our bodies. And as wondrous a course of as vaginal tenting could also be, there’s a restrict to the quantity of tenting that happens. A vagina can solely develop a lot. So what are you able to do? Well, you may attempt utilizing retailer purchased lubricant and inserting it each at your vaginal opening and in your accomplice’s penis. Also, take into account making an attempt a sexual place, corresponding to lady on high, that permits you management over the tempo of penetration. You get to determine how gradual or fast, and the way deep, you need to go. You may also discuss together with your accomplice about broadening your sexual menu. If intercourse feels uncomfortable for you, maybe oral intercourse, vibrator play, vaginal fingering, and/or hand stimulation of his penis shall be sexual behaviors you’re extra snug with and excited by. There are so many potentialities for you two to discover.


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