Q: I am a male and I had sexual activity with my girlfriend however evidently I haven’t misplaced my virginity. Can this occur? I am very tense proper now. I have by no means heard of such a factor earlier than.
A: I recognize your willingness to discover extra about what it means to turn out to be sexually lively or to lose one’s virginity. These ideas can have various definitions and are related to societal and cultural meanings. For some individuals, having sexual activity for the primary time might be scary and anxiety-provoking. Don’t fear, you aren’t alone.
Scientists Ask …
Findings from research of faculty college students, their definition of virginity and what sexual behaviors represent “having sex” are pretty constant. For instance, a 1999 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association discovered that 99.7% of respondents outlined vaginal intercourse intercourse as “having sex”. This is per a 2017 examine the place nearly all of college college students agreed that penile-vaginal and penile-anal intercourse constituted “having sex.” Additionally, inside these samples, whether or not a person had an orgasm throughout a sexual encounter impacted their definition of intercourse.
Not solely is your definition of virginity necessary, so is the supply of what’s making you’re feeling tense. Often individuals have unrealistic expectations related to intercourse, whether or not or not it’s primarily based on efficiency or the anticipation that having intercourse will change their lives. For others, a worry of contracting a sexually transmitted an infection or having an unintended pregnancy could cause nervousness. What you anticipated going into the sexual encounter and analyzing what really occurred and the way you’re feeling about this stuff is necessary and may alleviate a few of your nervousness.
And You Should Ask …
Finally, the way you and your companion outline virginity and its that means could also be necessary to share with each other. It’s not clear why you’re feeling you’re nonetheless a virgin if you happen to had intercourse, or what meaning to you. If what you imply is that you’re nonetheless feeling sexual stress or arousal even after having intercourse, then you possibly can look to masturbation or exercise that will help you really feel relaxed. If you’re referring to basic nervousness about intercourse (or extra broadly about life), then making an appointment with a sexuality counselor or therapist could be useful. You can discover an AASECT-certified therapist by means of www.aasect.org.